Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!

“Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me.   Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be.”  I still remember hearing the song as a kid.  It was fun, upbeat and it just had a way of making you want to sing along. How do we bring that fun, upbeat attitude to our relationships?  When we can truly find a way to connect with our partner in such a way, it brings intimacy to the relationship.  Intimacy is the glue the holds your relationship together.  If you don’t have it, start creating it!  You will not be sorry that you did!

Let’s be completely honest.  Intimacy is at an all-time low in our culture.  Think of the number of excuses that people make to avoid it.  I’m too tired.  I’m too busy.  I’m stressed about work, kids, money. I don’t feel connected to my partner.  I am not in shape.

It is literally time to put all those excuses to bed! In the time it took you to think of one of them, you could have complimented your partner on something you absolutely love about them.  This is a form of intimacy that is so essential to the glue necessary to your relationship.  Intimacy is more than just sex.  It is the sweet gestures and genuine compliments that you give to your partner.  It is taking time out of your busy day to communicate with your partner – even if that means a quick text in between meetings to let them know you are thinking about them.  It means writing them a sweet note to let them know how awesome they are just for being themselves.  It means making time to have lunch with them.  It means helping your partner with a task they might not be able to accomplish during the day because of their schedule.  It means sending them a sexy picture you know they will enjoy.  Make your relationship a priority – before work, kids, and friends.  By doing so, you are setting a great example for your kids and for other adult couples in your life.

Now that we have established some very important framework on intimacy, let’s talk about sex!  Keep it fun, interesting, keep date nights alive, put some time and attention in to your partner’s needs.  If that means getting out the sexy bra and panties for date night, ladies, please just do it!  If you have children, don’t let them be an excuse for not having sex!  Lock the door and let that be the signal to your partner that you are ready for some intimate adult time!  If you are married, remember that nothing sexually is off limits! Try things, experiment, get a red room for your house!  Make it exotic and thrilling – like it is meant to be!  And as the song says, talk about the good things and the bad things.  If you like something sexually, let your partner know!  If there is something you don’t necessarily like, have that discussion also.  And, do it in a way that is not demeaning or belittling – try instead to use positive statements to reinforce all the things that you do like!