What Would You Say??

I had to do it.  I just did.  I love music and as soon as I hear the phrase, “What would you say?”  – I immediately think of Dave Matthews Band!  My husband is not as big of a fan as I am.  His loss!  We definitely joke about it, though!  The fun cut up kind of joking that you do when you are flirting.  I love it.  Yes, we are married and we flirt a lot.  In front of our kids.  They think it’s gross.  It’s a good example to show them, though. 

What do you say in front of your kids? What kinds of discussions do you have in front of them? Do you speak life and positive words? Do you cut them down with negativity? Do you cut others down with negativity?  Little ears pick up more than we might think!

You might think it is cute that your toddler whips out a cuss word at exactly the moment something doesn’t go their way. But what about when the start repeating negative words about others? When they listen to  you state negative things about others because of your own opinion, their brains absorb the words.  And before you know it, you will hear them speak negatively about their friends or other family members.

As parents, we need to make a deliberate effort to have difficult or negative discussions away from our children. Literally put yourself in another room and shut the door so that they cannot hear you.  Keep your words around them positive and upbeat. Be deliberate about it. Consider your tone and your attitude when speaking to children.  If your child talks back to you, and your immediate response is to respond  Where did you learn to talk like that?! With a harsh a negative tone….stop for a moment.  Your response just taught them a response. Your reaction to the child just gave them your answer. It goes so much more smoothly if you use a matter of fact tone. Try using a designated response and consequence every single time.  Perhaps it could be…humm what usually happens when you talk to me that way.  Allow them to respond. And then, ask them if they really want to experience the consequence.

If your family is no longer in tact, pay attention to how you speak about the other parent in front of the children. Pay attention to your white lies and exaggerations when you don’t understand the other parent’s actions.  Remember that your child loves both parents. And they should! When they hear their parents speak negatively about each other, it hurts the child. And it can cause them anxiety.

Sara Bruns